Authorial Madness - Patricia Kennealy-Morrison

The Insanity of Dame Patricia Anne Elizabeth Genevieve Honora Kennealy Morrison (Or, I am totally married to Jim Morrison!)

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Fantasy/sci-fi aficionados may recognize Kennealy-Morrison's name... or they might not. She's not a very well-known writer, but she had a small loyal fanbase awhile back for the Keltiad, a science-fiction series that asked, "What if the ancient Celts went off in spaceships rather than convert to Christianity?"

... wow, it actually sounds kinda stupid when you put it like that. Especially since the ancient Celts didn't have spaceships.

But she actually managed to pull it off for a couple of trilogies. She combined fantasy, Arthurian legends, neopagan beliefs and science fiction into a pretty cohesive story, and it was actually pretty decent. It wasn't the best stuff in the world, and it was kind of nichey, but it was well-written and had some likable characters.

And then... she wrote THESE:

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''Wow, I totally don't know what those people are supposed to represent. ''



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The pornstache and the romance abs are killing me!



This is pretty much when her series went into a death spiral. Blackmantle is a novel I might get to someday, because it is staggeringly, eye-poppingly bad. The prose is thick as old cheese, and the plot is basically Kennealy Morrison's life story, but filtered through a Mary Sue lens where she becomes queen of a star empire, takes part in ethnic cleansing, finds out she's part fairy and... shit like that. That would be bad enough, but a good chunk of the book is devoted to Kennealy-Morrison taking revenge on the avatars of all the people she hates in real life. And we get wwaaaayyy too many details, like how she skins some dude and makes his skin into a SADDLE, or how she de-bones a man alive. Sick, sick stuff.

And The Deer's Cry? Well, it's really boring. And despite all claims that "it's not anti-Christian!", it is. It's basically just an excuse for the author to crap all over the Catholic Church. She's one of those people who converts from one religion to another, but for some reason has to justify her decision by being a massive bigot.

So what caused this massive leap from "decent author" to "batshit queen of craycray"? Two words: Jim Morrison.

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That is the face of a man thinking, "What the fuck was I thinking?"



Yes, that Jim Morrison. The Lizard King. The lead singer of the Doors. That talented, assholic, charismatic rocker who died in a bathtub in Paris, thus joining the elite class of people who died young, gorgeous and brilliant and are immortalized that way.

As explained in the above memoir, Kennealy Morrison met him in the late 60s, and they had a torrid affair that ended up leading them to the metaphorical altar. They got "married" a nonlegal neopagan handfasting ceremony (other accounts seem to suggest that he didn't take it seriously), she got pregnant and had an abortion, and their relationship was constantly complicated by the fact that he was still living with his longtime girlfriend Pamela Courson. Then he died, and ever since she's considered herself to be his widow, and insisted that (all evidence to the contrary) he intended to come back, marry her legally, and live happily ever after with her. You know, even though he was aimed straight at a JAIL SENTENCE.

That memoir pretty much served as the trigger for Kennealy Morrison's naked run ever since, and she talks about her former "husband" all the time even today. Ever since she got dropped by her publisher (after the disastrous two novels above), her web presence has been limited to a series of blogs. But before that, she had a domain website called www.lizardqueen.com, where she ranted pretty incoherently about a bunch of subjects.

In case you're wondering, lizardqueen.com no longer exists. When Kennealy Morrison's publishing contract fell through, her website first stopped being updated, and later vanished apparently due to lack of payment. However, nothing really vanishes on the web, so you can still find the batshittery floating around in cyberspace. I'm mainly focusing on Kennealy Morrison's FAQ, biographical info and infamous online letter involving another author she hated. Hang on, because the rage rollercoaster has only just started.

And in case you're wondering why, I actually read Strange Days several years ago, and it was just SO insanely Mary-Suey as a biography that it burned my brain. The website had the same effect. So I've been wanting to snark it for a long time, but never had the forum until now. And yes, I will probably snark Strange Days when I feel like it.

Just a note: I will not be snarking EVERYTHING from Kennealy-Morrison's website. She had a whole section devoted to her sci-fi books, for instance, and some of her content is either religious bigotry or unsnarkable material (for instance, I am NOT going to snark the chapter of her book where she describes her abortion in graphic detail). And her 1960s interviews with rock stars aren't really the stuff of snark. So I'm sticking to what DOES work.

And before we start, here are some thing Patricia Kennealy-Morrison DOES NOT want you to see: Stuff Patricia Kennealy-Morrison Wants Forgotten.

Strange Days - My Life With and Without Jim Morrison - This is.... sort of Kennealy-Morrison's autobiography. I say "sort of" because the periods WITHOUT Morrison are summed up rather than explored. It's basically a Mary Sue story, except with real people and events!

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An Open Letter To Jim's Fans

Fireheart

In Memorium For Linda...

The Creatrix as Crank

The Karma of Obsession

The Shamaness of Shea Part 1

The Shamaness of Shea Part 2

The Shamaness of Shea Part 3

The Shamaness of Shea Part 4

The Shamaness of Shea Part 5

Patricia Kennealy-Morrison Bio

Jim Morrison Bio