Breaking Dawn

Save us from the bloodthirsty spine-smashing vampire fetii! Breaking Dawn is what I like to call a "naked run" book. "Naked run" means that the author/director/whatever has become so famous and egotistical that they feel they can vomit all their personal fantasies and fetishes onto the page/camera without actually thinking or caring about the people who will actually watch/read/whatever it. It's the artistic equivalent of taking off your clothes, painting yourself bright purple, and running naked through the streets. No restraint at all! Granted there's always been some naked-runniness about the Twilight series (like the author's weird fetish for marble), but Breaking Dawn is where it goes nuclear. Stephenie Meyer sticks to her previous style through the wedding, but then suddenly it becomes a celebration of mutant murderous fetii, her sublimated pregnancy/motherhood resentment, a guy finding troo luv with a five-minute-old baby still smeared with birth snot, rapey rough sex, blatant Sueiness instead of concealed Sueiness, and Bella's Magic Sue Shield. This is what Stephenie Meyers wants to write! This is her vomiting up all her fetishes and fantasies into the book with NO RESTRAINTS. So with that out of the way, on to this anus of a book.