New Moon

 New Moon:

 Or, Suicidal Self-Destructive Emo Behavior Is A Perfectly Healthy And Reasonable Response To Being Dumped

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You thought Twilight was pointless, dull, obnoxious and full of antifeminist drivel? Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Having pretty much exhausted all the drama and angst she could in the first book, Stephenie Meyer decided to unleash on us: New Moon, a book which makes up whole new sources of angst.

Like, papercuts will ruin your life and cause your boyfriend to dump your ass, which means you must become suicidal while toying with the heart of a hot werewolf boy. I wish I were kidding. Because I'm not. This book is THAT creatively bankrupt - the entire thing is about one teenage girl's emogasm because her asshole boyfriend moved away. It's basically THIS all the time. And it's BOOORRRRIIINNNGGGG.

New Moon Preface New Moon Chapter 1 New Moon Chapter 2 New Moon Chapter 3 New Moon Chapter 3.5 New Moon Chapter 4 New Moon Chapter 5</li> New Moon Chapter 6</li> New Moon Chapter 7</li> New Moon Chapter 8</li> New Moon Chapter 9</li> New Moon Chapter 10</li> New Moon Chapter 11</li> New Moon Chapter 12</li> New Moon Chapter 13</li> New Moon Chapter 14</li> New Moon Chapter 15</li> New Moon Chapter 16</li> New Moon Chapter 17</li> New Moon Chapter 18</li> New Moon Chapter 19</li> New Moon Chapter 20</li> New Moon Chapter 21</li> <li>New Moon Chapter 22</li> <li>New Moon Chapter 23</li> <li>New Moon Chapter 24</li> <li>New Moon Epilogue</li></ul>